Five Dollar…Five Dollar Footlong

Now that you’ve all got that song stuck in your head, I have to tell you about what I witnessed today. On my way home for lunch, I stopped by Subway. I watched the most awkward and hilarious exchange between a Subway worker and a customer.


There were three people behind the counter, two people ahead of me, at least two people behind this particular customer, and 8-10 people sitting down eating, so quite a few people witnessed this incident.

We’ll call these two people Subway Guy and Crazy Woman. Subway Guy was probably college age. Crazy Woman was early 60s. Crazy Woman came in to order a sandwich for someone else, and had the order written on a piece of paper. The conversation went like this.

Subway Guy: “What can I get for you?”

Crazy Woman: “I’d like a five dollar footlong on Italian herb and cheese bread.”

Subway Guy gets the bread, cuts it, and waits for Crazy Woman to tell what she wants on it. Crazy Woman stares at Subway Guy.

Subway Guy: “What would you like on your sandwich?”

Crazy Woman: “I said I want a five dollar footlong.”

SG: “Which one do you want?”

CW (looking at him like he’s dumb): “What’s the difference?”

SG (trying not to laugh): “We have eight different kinds.”

CW: “Oh.”

She looked at the sign that had the different $5 footlongs for awhile.

CW: “I guess she wanted the spicy Italian one.”

SG: “Ok.”

He starts making the sandwich.

CW: “Well, she said she wanted tuna.”

SG stops.

SG: “So, you want a five dollar footlong tuna sandwich.”

CW: “Yeah, I guess that’s it.”

As he finished the sandwich, she continued to shake her head and look disgusted at him, like it was his fault that she had no idea what she was doing. I felt bad for the guy, but he seemed to think it was pretty funny. After that exchange, the next girl in line ordered a “meatball marina” sandwich! I think I need to go to Subway more often! :)

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